Buy my books because you still need
one more item to qualify for free shipping.
Buy my books to
sing like Prince or Whitney Houston...with laryngitis & their
vocal cords partially removed.
Buy my books because nothing
that truly tastes great is really less filling.
Buy my books
to support a local author. (I'm more local to some than others)
Buy
my books to see me do a little happy dance….with your eyes closed
in your imagination.
Buy my books and two black spots will disappear
from your soul…only to be replaced by five new ones.
Buy my books
to spit in the eye of everyone who said Trix are just for kids.
Buy
my books because one size fits all is total bull...shirt.
Buy
my books so that nasty looking rash will go away!
Buy my books
to see the future…by skipping to the last page.
Buy my books
because side effects should never apply to you!
Buy my books
because the only demons in your head should be mine.
Buy my
books to support a great cause...me!
Buy my books because being
1st is always better than being last!
Ok, not always but mostly.
Buy
my books because they all come with a prize inside: words.
Buy
my books because books make you look smart. (Notice I said LOOK.)
Buy my books because it keeps me from hiding in your bushes
with binoculars.
Buy my books so all your current legal troubles
will end... only to be replaced by new ones!
Buy my books so
the demons in your house will disappear...inside of you.
Buy
my books because even *I* don’t look good in a cardboard box.
Buy
my books to prove you've amounted to something….about $3-$5.
Buy
my books to attract the love you’ve been missing into your life (from
me & my accountant).
Buy my books online because having
your card declined in public is just plain embarrassing.
Buy
my books because hoarding is underrated.
Buy my books to become
immortal. (What you do on the internet NEVER goes away.)
Buy
my books because when I’m out on the streets bad things happen.
Buy
my books so you too will be able to call in the Hydra!
Buy my
books because you don’t have to add milk you don't have.
Buy
my books so your wife/girlfriend/boyfriend/husband never has to know.
Buy my books because they make the voices go away.
Buy
my books to prove Mensa doesn’t have ALL the smart people.
Buy
my books so I won’t testify against you in court.
Buy my books
to lose weight! (Full brain cells are smaller & weigh less than
empty ones).
Buy my books to give your lactose intolerance the
finger...then promptly hurl.
Buy my books, make 10 more people
buy them….and absolutely nothing will happen!
Buy my books to
look great naked…because you’ll be reading instead of looking in a
mirror.
Buy my books to make your ereader/computer grow 3 inches
in just 2 weeks.
Buy my books because I'm one of you... only
better.
Buy my books to make los cucarachas salir!
Buy
my books to increase your brain size….or cause an aneurysm. (I always
mix up the 2).
Buy my books because laughter is not priceless.
I think I’ve at least earned $2.99 here.
Buy my books because
they taste like chicken (& they’re cheep).
Buy my books
to save money on car insurance…by not paying for it in the 1st place.
Buy my books to win a trip to anywhere in the world...eventually…
from somewhere else… maybe.
Buy my books to appear on TV...in
the reflection when it’s off.
Buy my books to prove you have
taste (questionable taste, but taste).
Buy my books because joy
is a gift. Surely, I deserve something in return.